How do you love someone?
by Livandra
Summary: Revy knew it was up to her. It always was. Even as she looked right in his eyes, she couldn't deny the truth. Their future was up to her, a choice she must make. There was no mistaking it, she can't be the good girl and do the right thing. She was always like that. Not a one-shot anymore.
1. Chapter 1

_****__****__**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLACK LAGOON**_

_**Hi guys so this is my second attempt for a Black Lagoon fanfic. Hope this is**** better. Please review.**_

How do you love someone?

Revy knew it was up to her. It always was. Even as she looked right in his eyes, she couldn't deny the truth. Their future was up to her, a choice she must make. There was no mistaking it, she can't be the good girl and do the right thing. She was always like that.

"Yes, I like you Rock, but love?" the verbally unanswered answer was stuck in her mind. She was too afraid for the sacrifice, she already lost too much.

There's this thing called pride and her heart is only left with that. She cares about the people in her world, she likes the people who is part of her company.

Rock is somehow in her life with a status of boyfriend, lover or whatever the fucking rich bastards call it.

Yesterday Rock confessed his love to her. She was perplexed, she didn't know what to say, her whole past were flying in her mind in that single moment. She couldn't say it back. Only doubt filled her. As she looked in his eyes for the answer, all she saw was hope and a tinge of doubt.

That doubt made her only hug him tightly, scratched his head and made a big joke out of it. Dutch and Benny looked concerned to them but said nothing. She knew back then what she might have said, could have taken a turn for the worst.

"Deep in thought Revy?" Dutch said as he walked to her, while she was sitting outside on the ship watching the sunset.  
"Maybe Dutch," she grinned at him, the peace-maker.

She wouldn't want to fight against him, he rarely put his baby to work, but if he does- hell would be on the loose.

"Love is hard to come by nowadays," Dutch said coolly.

"Love? Don't make me laugh!" Revy smirked.

"Commitment is one thing, but love is past our understanding, especially for people like us, but do you know what Revy? Love could only make us stronger," Dutch said and then started to walk away.

"Hey Dutch, how do you love?" Revy asked before Dutch went back inside.

"Dunno, maybe you should ask Rock," Dutch answered and went inside.

"Love, huh?" Revy said and sighed.

Maybe she will ask Rock.

How do you love someone?


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hi guys, so I've decided to write another chapter, please bare with me, I don't know if this is good enough for all of you, please R&R, tell me what you guys think- sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes- English isn't my first language- I try to do the best I can._**

How do you love someone chapter 2: To be loved or to be a man?

Rock hands me one of his cigarettes. The moonlight shines brightly as its reflection flows in the sea water. It's quiet and peaceful. No words are needed for this night, yet I knew I should.

"Hey Rock?" I ask him, my eyes focused on the dark blue water.

"Mm?" Rock answers.

"How do you…" I couldn't ask, my voice just faded, I am not ready to ask him that.

I feel his gaze burning on me; I feel my heart thumping slowly, it's as if my walls I keep so close to me is slowly tumbling down, yet he have done it so many times before, but this feels different.

"Don't worry about it; I think I should get some sleep… Goodnight Rock." I tell him when I finally decided to give up on asking him that.

I stood up and started to walk back to my room, suddenly I feel someone grab my arm; I almost instinctively grabbed back to throw the person over my shoulder when I heard his voice.

"Revy, wait!" Rock's voice almost shouted.

I turn around and his face displayed realization and he let go of my arm, he looked down. Then almost as if he was thinking of options in that moment, he looks at me.

"Sleep well, Revy." Rock tells me with resistance; it looks like he was trying to hide his true feelings or something.

He then walks before me down to his own room on the ship.

I never felt so fucking horrible ever before.

… … … …

"Fucking idiot!" I curse to myself.

I can't believe that I thought he would actually be man enough to kiss me at that moment. Shitty romance movies, to actually think I wanted that shit. Ha! Get real, Revy. This is Rock we are talking about; to think he had enough guts to tell me his feelings is a miracle, yet, after his confession, I, I wanted it too.

To be loved is one thing Revy, but to be a man, now that is something else.

If only Rock would be man enough, maybe I will…

Maybe I will know how to love someone…

No…

I will know how to love you, Rock…


End file.
